The All or Nothing
New Year, New You… Why the All-or-Nothing Approach Doesn’t Work for Busy Moms
Every January, moms feel a familiar pressure: start fresh, go all in, don’t mess it up. As a coach working with busy moms across the North Shore of Massachusetts, I see this pattern repeat itself year after year. In all honesty, sometimes it’s hard to not fall into this pattern myself. Black and white plans feel do-able when they’re written out on paper. For example, I am going to strength train every other day, go for runs on my off days, have a green smoothie every morning and get 8 hours of sleep each night…clean, clear, let’s go! However, that first 5 degree day hits and you have 2 kids home with a cold, chances are you aren’t getting out for that run…raise your hand if you’re with me!
The problem isn’t motivation. The problem is the all-or-nothing approach—and for busy moms, it almost never works long term.
Why the all-or-nothing mindset is so tempting
• New year = clean slate mentality
• Social media pushes extremes
• Busy moms want results fast
This mindset convinces moms that if they can’t do everything perfectly, it’s not worth doing anything at all.
Why this approach backfires for moms
• Life with kids is unpredictable
• Missed workouts feel like failure
• One “off” day turns into giving up entirely
Instead of building consistency, all-or-nothing thinking creates guilt, burnout, and stop‑start cycles.
What actually works for busy moms
• Flexible routines instead of rigid plans
• Strength-focused workouts that don’t require daily training
• Nutrition habits that work even during chaotic weeks
• Progress measured over months, not days
What this doesn’t mean
• It doesn’t mean lowering standards
• It doesn’t mean not caring about your health
• It doesn’t mean giving up on goals
It means choosing strategies that match your real life.
A realistic New Year approach
For most moms, 2–3 strength workouts per week, daily movement, and consistent (not perfect) nutrition habits create far better results than extreme plans. I would rather see a client strength train for 30 minutes several times per week rather than one 90 minute, intense, full body strength session. Try to move everyday; this could be going in the backyard and running around with your kids for 20 minutes. When it comes to nutrition aim for 80/20; this means 80% of the time you eat how you know you should and 20% of the time you let yourself be human and have a slice of pizza with the kids.
Final thoughts
Real change doesn’t come from doing everything—it comes from doing what you can, consistently. I say this with plenty of experience pushing myself to unrealistic measures and trying to be super mom. My experience also comes from working with moms for the last 14 years to build strength, improve energy, and create sustainable habits—without burnout. Book a free consultation to see if my coaching is a good fit for you.